Purposeless life sooner or later is bound to collapse in a huge pile of nothingness. I have a feeling that it could be mine if I don't change soon. Some accumulated bitterness is eating me from the inside and I'm trying to numb it with means that do no good to me. I'm disappointed in myself. Disappointment and bitterness are things I've lately observed in many other people too. It seems we all have some disappointment and insecurity inside, and try to hide or numb it in whichever way we can, but still I don't think this is the way to live. Purpose is what I need right now. Something to look forward to. Something to work for. Something to strive for. Until the present day I have been simply freerolling life and while that was a lot of fun, I probably should start working on strengthening it.
Lately I've been wondering about the concept of happiness. Happy life. What is that? What does it mean to you? Our understandings probably don't match - is that good or bad? Can either of us be wrong? Probably not, yet something leaves me confused in this lifelong quest for doing my best at living happily ever after. However, it's not as bad as it sounds, if I wrote this a few days ago, I would've probably said I was happy. Incredibly lucky is what I am, that's for sure. Happy? Mostly yes.
Anyway, disappointments are healthy. They make me change. Attack my insecurities. Work on my life. Find a purpose.
Ziņas
